We had a baby... a month early!

[00:00:05] Speaker A: Hello, hello, hello, everyone. Welcome back to Weird World Adventures, the podcast. I'm your host, Mallory. [00:00:11] Speaker B: And I'm your host, Michael. [00:00:16] Speaker A: Welcome to this weird world. [00:00:18] Speaker B: Wow. [00:00:19] Speaker A: Did [00:00:20] Speaker B: you forget your own tagline? [00:00:22] Speaker A: No, I'm just. I wanted to start this episode Dazed, so people knew the state of being I'm currently in right now. [00:00:29] Speaker B: That was not planned. [00:00:31] Speaker A: I [00:00:32] Speaker B: looked deep into your eyes [00:00:33] Speaker A: and [00:00:34] Speaker B: there was nothing [00:00:34] Speaker A: there. Like Elizabeth Holmes. [00:00:37] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, right. [00:00:38] Speaker A: I can see [00:00:39] Speaker B: everything and there's nothing going on upstairs. [00:00:43] Speaker A: I don't know what you're talking about. [00:00:45] Speaker B: Yeah, just. I flirt by just deep, unbroken eye contact. Like this. Like [00:00:51] Speaker A: this. [00:00:53] Speaker B: Anyways, if you haven't seen that. [00:00:54] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:00:56] Speaker B: Weird as shit and worth seeing. [00:00:59] Speaker A: It is so weird. Oh, my gosh. In a great way. In a great way. I mean, the first 10 minutes at least, everyone in the theater was laughing because they didn't know how to process. I [00:01:11] Speaker B: got over halfway through it and was still unclear if it was. [00:01:14] Speaker A: Yeah. A mockumentary or [00:01:16] Speaker B: not. Yeah, [00:01:17] Speaker A: it's crazy. Anyways, anyway, [00:01:20] Speaker B: that's not what we're talking about. [00:01:22] Speaker A: Well, you might have heard my last podcast, [00:01:25] Speaker B: Whomp. Whomp. What a swing and miss. [00:01:29] Speaker A: You know what? I was on such a good high because my doctor told me it was the most boring pregnancy she ever had. And it was just all. She just cursed me the second she said that. It was like explosion and I just doubled down. [00:01:40] Speaker B: I didn't listen to it until the following week when none of it made any sense at all, [00:01:46] Speaker A: Just irrelevant. [00:01:46] Speaker B: And I was like, wow, you really couldn't have been more wrong in that episode. Immediately wrong, too. [00:01:53] Speaker A: And like, you know, I could feel where his feet was. And then we kind of like knew where his head was. So I guess it made sense that he was breached. I just didn't process the [00:02:01] Speaker B: bravado. I know exactly where he is and he's just doing good. And then [00:02:06] Speaker A: I was told it was great. [00:02:07] Speaker B: You went on Wednesday and then you were told Thursday, emergency C section the next day. [00:02:12] Speaker A: Yep, [00:02:12] Speaker B: yep, [00:02:13] Speaker A: yep, yep. Yeah. So I went in for my normal. My normal 36 week OB appointment. You've been so boring. And hey, you know what? We're going to clear you to fly. You're all good and everything's so boring and it's all so great. And they do my ultrasound and the ultrasound tech made it seem like everything was absolutely fine. And now when I look back, her choice of words were very specific because she said. [00:02:37] Speaker B: Yeah, she phrased that to. To deliver bad news without saying anything. [00:02:42] Speaker A: Yeah, like she was like well, your baby just looks so healthy. He looks so good in there. [00:02:48] Speaker B: The rest of you, falling apart, but [00:02:50] Speaker A: the baby looks. He looks great. And then you know what? I even. I guess, like, going back, like, they did put the, like, baby br. I guess, which means breached, like, sticker on one of them, like, saying that he was breached. But, like, I didn't know. I don't know for sure what that means. Well, it [00:03:05] Speaker B: can be breached for a while, and [00:03:08] Speaker A: it's fine. It's [00:03:08] Speaker B: fine. It's just. [00:03:09] Speaker A: I even think if you had enough fluid at 36 weeks in your breach, they might actually, like, try to flip it. There's things they do [00:03:16] Speaker B: well, maybe you should have made more fluid. [00:03:18] Speaker A: Yeah. So. So then the doctor. I think everything's great because they just told me how great the baby looks and how healthy he is, and I'm like, oh, this is just great. He's doing. He's doing great. Great. And I go into the doctor's office, and I'm waiting for her, and she's. She's kind of like a freak. She's. She reminds me of a woman from the Vault. How I describe her [00:03:40] Speaker B: fallout. [00:03:40] Speaker A: Fallout from fallout. Just. And the [00:03:44] Speaker B: blue outfits. [00:03:45] Speaker A: The blue outfits. [00:03:46] Speaker B: Thumbs up. [00:03:46] Speaker A: Yeah, thumbs [00:03:47] Speaker B: up. [00:03:47] Speaker A: Okay. Yep. And she just, like, dramatically opens the door and peeks her head in and, like, casually, like, so while she comes in. You're gonna have a baby tomorrow. I'm like, I'm sorry, what? I, like, I don't know. My whole world was just, like. Just. Just days. I'm like, what are you talking about? Truly, you aren't serious. And she's like, yep. So he's breached and your fluid's low. So we're gonna. We're gonna get. Go in the hospital on the phone, and we're gonna have a C section tomorrow. And I was so confused. I mean, I really thought she was messing with me there at first, because I'm like, what are you talking about? We still have a whole month. A whole month? [00:04:30] Speaker B: Yeah. He's supposed to be due this week. [00:04:32] Speaker A: He's supposed to be due this Thursday. And, yes, this is week 36. And we had plans to go to Zion. I [00:04:43] Speaker B: told you those were dicey. [00:04:45] Speaker A: I knew dicey to film Weird World. And I was like, no, I'm gonna be late. It's totally fine. I'm sure it's all good. So we [00:04:53] Speaker B: had [00:04:54] Speaker A: plans to go to Zion. We had plans to go to the Petroglyph National Monument with Nina. [00:05:00] Speaker B: Our [00:05:00] Speaker A: good friend Nina Lanza, who's been on this Podcast before. Um, yeah, we. We had plans to go to Holly and Josh's wedding ceremony celebration or whatever. We had. We had a lot. There's a lot of plans and lots of book signings. That was. We still had all the book signings. We had done one of five book signings at that time. And I was like, well, crap. So I guess the first thing. We had 24 hours to get it all together. [00:05:31] Speaker B: Yep. [00:05:32] Speaker A: To get our shit together. And I had to tell you [00:05:37] Speaker B: because I was not there, obviously. I don't. I don't. I don't support these kind of [00:05:41] Speaker A: appointments. Wow. [00:05:42] Speaker B: I went to the first one, and I was like, my job here's. [00:05:45] Speaker A: Wow. My [00:05:46] Speaker B: job here is done. [00:05:49] Speaker A: Well, I called your mom because I was like, I have to call somebody, and you're asleep. And then I was like, maybe she could wake you. But I was like, no, I should tell him, though. I don't know. And I was. I called her and she was like, oh, okay. All right, sure. We got this, like. And then the doctor comes in and is, like, telling her and me together, and your mom's like, hold on, I need a pen. Like, she was like, also not put together. I need to find a pen. Hold on. And it was. It was booked for, like, exactly 24 hours later. [00:06:20] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:06:20] Speaker A: So then I came home and I had to. We had. We had our maternity shots, Our second set of maternity shots that Friday, which is when we had the baby. So I had to cancel that. So I had to call. I was like, who. Who do I cancel? What first? Who do I call? In my head. It was just all the plans I had to change. Right. I did [00:06:37] Speaker B: get some good shots of you getting sliced open, though. [00:06:39] Speaker A: You did almost [00:06:40] Speaker B: as good as the maternity [00:06:41] Speaker A: shots. Oh, my God. I called Erica, our photographer, and she can probably tell I'm dazed, and she's like, well, it's fine. We'll just figure it out when, you know, it's all good. And I had. I had the book event. I had a book event that night at the Poe Museum, [00:06:57] Speaker B: which he went to. [00:06:58] Speaker A: I went to. People were giving me shit for going to that. And I was like, no, no, I'm doing this. I committed. [00:07:03] Speaker B: Well, yeah. I mean, I don't know. Nothing's happening until tomorrow. [00:07:06] Speaker A: No, I'd be freaking out all night. Anyway, so we, like, got a bunch of the baby stuff ready. I can't. I rescheduled the Zion trip and one of the book signings we just were not going to be able to do because we were, like, literally in the hospital. It [00:07:22] Speaker B: was Saturday. [00:07:23] Speaker A: It was that weekend. And kind of put up the away messages, got on the phone with work, had to shift maternity leave. Chaos into what's happening now, guys? [00:07:35] Speaker B: After assuring your boss you'd be late. Oh, [00:07:37] Speaker A: I'm definitely [00:07:38] Speaker B: gonna be late. [00:07:38] Speaker A: He had his. Yeah. You told him to go on his [00:07:41] Speaker B: own vacation. It's gonna be fine. I'm nowhere near. [00:07:43] Speaker A: It was so important to him. And I was like, you have to go. It'll be totally fine. I'm gonna be late. He [00:07:47] Speaker B: definitely should have gone. I mean, that's the right [00:07:49] Speaker A: move. And I went out before he did. It was. It was no bueno, but it's fine. Didn't you [00:07:56] Speaker B: listen to the podcast that week? [00:07:58] Speaker A: Right? It was fine. Everything was [00:07:59] Speaker B: fine. [00:08:00] Speaker A: I mean, when the. When the doctor told me my pregnancy was boring, I told my boss that I was like, you have nothing to worry about. She said my pregnancy was boring. And one of our co workers was like, oh, yeah, Mallory just heard. She's having the baby three weeks late. It's all good. She's sad, like. Yep. Anyway. [00:08:19] Speaker B: Yeah, [00:08:20] Speaker A: so we had to rearrange all of our plans in 24 hours. I [00:08:23] Speaker B: was. [00:08:24] Speaker A: I was dazed until after we had the baby. At that point, I was. I was just dazed for, like, that whole experience. I went into a daze and didn't come out of it. [00:08:34] Speaker B: You're still in it. [00:08:35] Speaker A: I know. [00:08:36] Speaker B: You just. Elizabeth Holmes me at the start of this podcast. What are you talking about? [00:08:42] Speaker A: We had set up an appointment to get a car. So thank goodness that happened, I guess, that day. And it worked out, because then we had two car that now fits two babies. [00:08:52] Speaker B: Yes, we both drive. Well, yours is less of a beater. Mine is a full beater. [00:08:57] Speaker A: Mine's just, like, tiny. [00:08:59] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:09:02] Speaker A: And we. We had to. Gosh. We were like. You wanted to. Just like you. So I had to tell you. I guess we'll go back to that. I'm still in the daze. [00:09:12] Speaker B: Yeah, I know. [00:09:13] Speaker A: I had to tell you. And you. I mean, to be fair, you handled it like a champ. Because I was like, hey, I need to tell you something. You need to get up with some news. And you're like. I was like, we're going to have the baby tomorrow. [00:09:27] Speaker B: Doctor [00:09:28] Speaker A: just scheduled a C section. And you were like, well, that's not how I wanted to wake up. Especially because I think that one thing I had textured you from the appointment before it went horribly wrong was the fact that they said the baby was 6 pounds, 7 ounces. And I Was like, man, he still has another month. He's huge. [00:09:46] Speaker B: Yeah. He would have torn you [00:09:48] Speaker A: up. He would have destroyed like an eight pounder. Eight pounder? Yeah, so he was already big, so I don't know. Anyway. Anyway, you, like, you went into this, we're just gonna fix it and everything's fine, and we're gonna like you. You. You had like, the stuff in the house getting set up. Like, you. [00:10:08] Speaker B: Once the. There's no decision. The decision's made for you. You have no say in it. Just do what you can. I mean, like, what you know. [00:10:14] Speaker A: I know. [00:10:15] Speaker B: What are you gonna do? Just. It's happening tomorrow, so just do what you can do now. [00:10:19] Speaker A: We went to the car appointment. I was freaking out. I had to reschedule all of our stuff. Luckily, everyone was wonderful. [00:10:25] Speaker B: You [00:10:25] Speaker A: were [00:10:25] Speaker B: so worried about it. [00:10:26] Speaker A: I was like, you [00:10:27] Speaker B: are having an emergency C section. And everyone with people that you are. That know that you are, like, very pregnant. So this is not gonna be. [00:10:36] Speaker A: No. And it all. It all just. [00:10:38] Speaker B: This is a legitimate excuse. [00:10:41] Speaker A: I don't like canceling on people. [00:10:42] Speaker B: I know. [00:10:43] Speaker A: It all shifted. So it was perfect. [00:10:47] Speaker B: That [00:10:47] Speaker A: was wonderful. Everything got rescheduled, and it was great. But it was like 24 hours of like, we have to fix everything right now and then pack our hospital bag. And then I went to the book event, got everything finalized and squared away at work, which was crazy. I [00:11:03] Speaker B: was glad to have you out of the house. That book [00:11:06] Speaker A: the psycho is ratcheting up the stress level in [00:11:10] Speaker B: this house. [00:11:13] Speaker A: They just told me they were gonna cut me open the next day. Oh, [00:11:16] Speaker B: and they did. [00:11:17] Speaker A: Yeah. So then we, I think, went to sleep at like 5 in the morning. [00:11:21] Speaker B: It was late. [00:11:22] Speaker A: It was like 5 in the morning. And then had to get. Had to be at the hospital at 11. Yeah. And we're just. We had our bags packed and we were ready to go. Yep. [00:11:33] Speaker B: Yep. [00:11:33] Speaker A: And then we went in and I will say we had. We had him at Johnston Willows out here in Midlothian, Virginia. It was nice [00:11:44] Speaker B: name. Nice name drop. It [00:11:45] Speaker A: was actually really nice, though. I will say they didn't pay me to say this. I mean, it was actually a great experience. Like, it was [00:11:50] Speaker B: getting a little bit knocked off. The hospital bill. [00:11:53] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:11:53] Speaker B: Calling them up. [00:11:54] Speaker A: No, they were actually. I mean, I was surprised. Like, I, you know, I don't like hospitals. I was like, I don't want to stay at a hospital. I don't either. I don't want to do this. And it was. It was pleasant. Like, as pleasant as it could be. I [00:12:04] Speaker B: Worked in. I don't like hospital. [00:12:06] Speaker A: Yeah, it was as pleasant as it could be. [00:12:09] Speaker B: It was good. Yeah, [00:12:10] Speaker A: it was very good. It was very nice. The care team was, like, very attentive the entire time we. We went in, and, like, we even just brought in, like, a few things coming in, and they had, like, moved it to our room by the time we were done with the C section, and they moved us in the room. Like, they. They were very, like, good at just [00:12:29] Speaker B: getting [00:12:29] Speaker A: everything shuffling around. [00:12:31] Speaker B: We got to get the next. The next prego in there. [00:12:34] Speaker A: There was, like, nobody there, though. [00:12:36] Speaker B: It was weird. [00:12:36] Speaker A: It was, [00:12:37] Speaker B: like, very. [00:12:37] Speaker A: Nobody had a baby that week. It was, like, desolate. I mean, it [00:12:43] Speaker B: was an off week. [00:12:44] Speaker A: Well, then apparently, afterwards, it was packed. Like, there was times that, like, around it where people were saying how packed they were, and you saw a bunch of people. There was nobody there when we were there, really. [00:12:52] Speaker B: They come in clusters, [00:12:53] Speaker A: apparently, and I don't know. We. We. They had. They, like, had me walk to the C section. They just walked us out. I'm in the hospital gown and hooked up to the iv and they're like, there's some people out in the waiting room. Is it okay? And I was like, that's fine. Whatever. And it was my. My dad and your parents. And I was like, oh, [00:13:14] Speaker B: your ass was hanging out of that hospital gown. [00:13:16] Speaker A: No, it was all wrapped up. And, yeah, I will say it was alarming. I mean, I don't like the surgery stuff. I don't. I mean, who does, right? But I. I really like there. They don't do, like, the anesthesia, like, for my egg retrieval. I was, like, high enough for them to not really care by a certain point. Right. That doesn't work with this because of the baby. Right. So they did, like, the spinal anesthesia, and it didn't work. That was like. They made. They made Mike wait outside, and while they gave me the anesthesia, for some reason, got everybody set up. And the guy. The guy was like. I don't know. He was like, all right, we're gonna do this. And, like. Like, football coaching, telling me what we're gonna do. And I'm, like, really nervous because I don't like the hospital stuff. And he's like, we're gonna do this, and we're gonna do this, and we're gonna do this. And I'm like, okay, just tell me what to do when you need me to do it. And I think the plan was, we're gonna give you the shot in your spine, and you're gonna like, lean over like this. And then you're gonna like, fall over to the side really fast, right? And I'm thinking they're gonna like, lay me on this my side. And nobody did. Nobody did. At least not fast enough. I'm like, we have to go side, side. And I was like, I supposed to do that? Like, I was waiting for you to just, like, I don't know, leave me down. I don't know. [00:14:34] Speaker B: Fumbled the ball. Sorry, coach. [00:14:36] Speaker A: But it all wound up really low and in my left side. So then [00:14:40] Speaker B: part of you is [00:14:41] Speaker A: numb. So my left leg was, like, totally numb and nothing else was. And they're like pinching me, like, can you feel this? And I'm like, yes. Can you feel this? Yes. And they're like, you're gonna have a bunch of pinch marks tomorrow. I mean, it was like she was pinching me very hard. I guess you can tell her, right? I agree. And I'm like, yes, we'll [00:14:58] Speaker B: just test it [00:14:59] Speaker A: with [00:14:59] Speaker B: the cut. We'll just start. Let us know when it hurts. [00:15:02] Speaker A: Yes, yes, yes. And I mean, it was like 30 minutes. And the doctor was getting annoyed because then, like, the doctor shows up and is like, what's a hold up? Why hasn't she numb yet? You know, and rushing them and they're all making excuses about it, and I'm just sitting here like. I mean, I appreciate the fact that they definitely didn't want me to feel it. Right. So they, like, finally are just like. I just. I'm just not liking this. We're gonna give you a. We're gonna give you an epidural. So I got both and I get the epidural. And that worked? [00:15:32] Speaker B: Yep. [00:15:32] Speaker A: Yep. And I mean, I was so full of shit. I didn't feel anything from my waist down for at least like, six hours. [00:15:41] Speaker B: Good. [00:15:41] Speaker A: I know. [00:15:42] Speaker B: That's a good thing. [00:15:43] Speaker A: I know. [00:15:43] Speaker B: Did you see what they did to you? [00:15:47] Speaker A: Because I did. Before I, like, forget about how it felt. I will say it is. It is weird. It feels like. Not what I expected. I expected just not feel anything. Right. It feels like when you sleep on your arm and it goes to sleep. [00:16:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:16:02] Speaker A: Like, everything from my waist down felt like asleep, but, like, it still kind of felt like there but asleep. And it's uncomfortable. Like, it doesn't feel comfortable when you're, like, asleep. Right. So I was like, ow. This kind of like. Like I want to move it because it feels asleep and I can't move it. And it kind of hurts a little bit because it just feels like it's aggressively asleep, But I guess it's fine. It's supposed to feel like that. So. Okay. Like, I probably would have freaked out. I mean, one of those things where if you didn't know it was going to be okay because they do this all the time, I would have freaked out because it just. It felt like it's not supposed to feel like this. Surely my entire body can't feel like it's asleep. Like that tingly feeling. [00:16:48] Speaker B: Yeah, [00:16:49] Speaker A: it was weird. It was weird. And then. Yeah. And then they. They cut me open. [00:16:56] Speaker B: Yeah, they did [00:16:57] Speaker A: at one point. I don't know if it was because they were cutting me open or because I was just so overwhelmed because everyone's, like, telling me a bunch of things, and everyone's like, tell me your name. Tell me this. Tell me this. Because I guess I have to make sure you're still, you know, conscious. So, like, six people are asking me to tell them my name and date of birth, and I'm a little dazed at this point because why are you. Why do you keep asking me this question? And I have my hands, like, sprawled out, like, on a cross, like, straight out. [00:17:24] Speaker B: Ye. Crucifying you after that? [00:17:26] Speaker A: Yeah, Right [00:17:27] Speaker B: afterwards. [00:17:28] Speaker A: And then. And then I. I started to get a little lightheaded at one point, probably because they're cutting me open, right? And I'm like, I'm. I, like, got a little dizzy. [00:17:37] Speaker B: A [00:17:37] Speaker A: little, like, o. But I was okay. But, like, I don't know. Then I said, I feel a little funny. And the woman's like, can you move your hands? And then that makes me freak out even more, right? Because I'm like, why? Why am I dying? Am I dying? [00:17:54] Speaker B: Oh, that's not good. [00:17:56] Speaker A: But I can move my hands, so fine. [00:17:58] Speaker B: I can't go too high, [00:18:00] Speaker A: right? [00:18:01] Speaker B: The numbness, [00:18:02] Speaker A: right? [00:18:03] Speaker B: You want a high block. [00:18:04] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:05] Speaker B: Get those breathing centers numbed [00:18:07] Speaker A: up. Oh, my God. See? Scary, scary. That's [00:18:12] Speaker B: why no one told you ahead of time. [00:18:16] Speaker A: Oh, my God. It's terrible. It was. It was horrifying. And then. And then they. They were like, you came in. They're like, you can hold her hand, you know? [00:18:24] Speaker B: I was like, nah, it's fine. [00:18:25] Speaker A: I'm good. And they, like, kind of made jokes about how you didn't give a crap about, like. Like, you can take pictures. You can do whatever. Like, they were very chill about some of that stuff. [00:18:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:18:36] Speaker A: So [00:18:37] Speaker B: that was fine. [00:18:38] Speaker A: It was good, because then. Because then they're like, all right, dad, baby's coming, and you got to. You got to watch. [00:18:42] Speaker B: Oh, Yeah, I was like, oh, yeah, chop her up. Yeah, get in there. Good. [00:18:46] Speaker A: You got to watch them pull the baby out of me. [00:18:49] Speaker B: There's just a flap of Mallory, like [00:18:51] Speaker A: a [00:18:51] Speaker B: mal. Flap of flesh. [00:18:53] Speaker A: Oh, so gross. [00:18:55] Speaker B: Yeah, it was just. It looked fake. I mean, like. [00:18:57] Speaker A: Cause they put that weird sterilizing. Yeah, [00:18:59] Speaker B: yeah, yeah. You have the betadine, the iodine. [00:19:02] Speaker A: Yeah, [00:19:02] Speaker B: like orangey. [00:19:03] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:19:04] Speaker B: Sterilizing stuff. And then the, like, surgical tape. [00:19:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:19:07] Speaker B: So it looks. It looks like a prop. [00:19:09] Speaker A: Yeah. But [00:19:09] Speaker B: also, you just don't. It's not every day I get to see a flap of cut open Mallory meat. [00:19:15] Speaker A: Just. Oh, my God. [00:19:16] Speaker B: Flipped up [00:19:17] Speaker A: with a baby getting pulled out. [00:19:19] Speaker B: I have pictures. [00:19:20] Speaker A: He does have pictures. He took pictures of them pulling the baby out of me. [00:19:24] Speaker B: Just email us at mallorymecky. [00:19:29] Speaker A: What's [00:19:30] Speaker B: your. What's. What's your email for this? I know. Your personal email. [00:19:35] Speaker A: I mean, that's. That was fine. That's fine. Or mallorysadventuresmail [00:19:38] Speaker B: mallorysadventuresmail.com [00:19:41] Speaker A: if [00:19:41] Speaker B: you would like to see some. [00:19:43] Speaker A: Some [00:19:43] Speaker B: chopped up Mallory meat. [00:19:45] Speaker A: Yeah. And then he put. They. He has photos of them just pulling the baby out. And then Tristan just screaming. [00:19:54] Speaker B: He [00:19:54] Speaker A: came out unhappy. [00:19:55] Speaker B: He was unhappy. [00:19:56] Speaker A: He was very unhappy. Yeah, because he was like. I was [00:19:58] Speaker B: told I had another month. [00:19:59] Speaker A: I was. I was comfortable. I'm here. I was good. I'm healthy. I'm happy. I was told I had a month, and now you're pulling me out and. Yeah, it was. And then, you know, it was. Then it became very difficult because he was. He was a month premature. So they had the NICU there, and they're, like, trying to decide, like, do we take him to the nicu? Do we not? I'm completely left out of that conversation. You got to go over and see him, and I'm just, you know, slapped to the table. [00:20:26] Speaker B: Your role here is done. You were the vessel that grew and birthed this child. [00:20:34] Speaker A: And now you get to go sit down. And now I have to go sit down. I'll take over from here. Yeah, right. And then the. I will say the guy that did the anesthesia was great because he was, like, giving me a play by play when no one else was. And he was like, when they pulled the baby out. Okay, mom, here's the baby. We're gonna drop the screen for you to see the baby. I get like a here's your baby really fast before they take him away to evaluate him. Here you go. We drop this, and there he is. Okay, bye. And then he's like, they're just trying to decide if they're gonna take the baby to the NICU because, you know, he's so premature and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, okay. And I'm just sit. Why everyone's doing all this stuff, and I'm still cut open, and I don't know what they're doing. [00:21:13] Speaker B: Well, they're. They're sewing it back up, [00:21:16] Speaker A: pulling out all the other stuff. Yeah, there's [00:21:17] Speaker B: other stuff in there. Got to get it all out. [00:21:23] Speaker A: Yep. And [00:21:25] Speaker B: after birth, [00:21:26] Speaker A: all that. All that jazz. Yep. They're taking it all out. And you [00:21:31] Speaker B: did deflate. It was comical. Like, [00:21:33] Speaker A: they commented on it. Right. I was. I was a little too out of it to remember, but I. I vaguely remember somebody in there being, like, pregnant. [00:21:40] Speaker B: It looked like we pulled a pillow out of a fat suit. I mean, like, you went in with this big belly, and then they just pulled all that stuff out, you know, Stuff being a baby and the afterbirth. [00:21:54] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:21:55] Speaker B: And then they sewed you back up, and you kind of didn't look like you were ever pregnant. Like, right [00:22:00] Speaker A: there. It [00:22:01] Speaker B: looked like we just pulled a fat suit apart. [00:22:03] Speaker A: They said that, too. They're like, you don't even really look pregnant anymore. And I will say, when I was pregnant, I feel like I inflated and deflated, but it didn't feel like I was gaining a lot of, like, weight. It felt like it was, like, pushing pressure in me, and then it went away. So, like, it. It felt like, okay, yeah, I'm just back in my own skin, whatever, you know? And that was it. And then, you know, like, they. They. They drive. They drive Tristan away in this little. [00:22:33] Speaker B: Like, [00:22:33] Speaker A: we're gonna take [00:22:34] Speaker B: Baby Pop mobile. [00:22:34] Speaker A: Yeah. They're like, we're gonna take him to the nicu. And the guy again, the anesthesia guy, the nurse [00:22:41] Speaker B: anesthetist, he's not an assistant. [00:22:42] Speaker A: Yeah, well, I [00:22:44] Speaker B: mean, I guess it's. [00:22:44] Speaker A: He's not the anesthesiologist. He was, like, the person that was. Yeah, [00:22:47] Speaker B: the mp. [00:22:48] Speaker A: The mp. [00:22:48] Speaker B: The nurse. Nurse anesthetist. [00:22:51] Speaker A: Got it. He was very nice. [00:22:52] Speaker B: Yes. [00:22:53] Speaker A: He was like, all right, they're gonna bring the baby by. They're gonna take him to the nicu, but they're gonna do a drive by. So you can see him in the drive by. [00:22:59] Speaker B: Yeah, they're in, like, the little, like, incubator NICU beds. They look like little mini Popemo because it's all, like, walled [00:23:05] Speaker A: off [00:23:05] Speaker B: in, like, plastic. [00:23:06] Speaker A: Yeah. And then it was just like, I don't know, like, Again, the hospital stay was wonderful and everybody was so good, but it was just, like, so. Well, this is just not how this was supposed to go. [00:23:16] Speaker B: This wasn't in my birthplace. [00:23:17] Speaker A: This was Mallory's total meltdown for three days. Plus, [00:23:21] Speaker B: we were going to do a home birth in the hot tub with our doula team. [00:23:27] Speaker A: Right. This is not how this is supposed to go. [00:23:30] Speaker B: This is not part of my birth plan. [00:23:32] Speaker A: Well, my birth plan consisted of me holding him after he was born. [00:23:36] Speaker B: We could have opted for the no anesthesia. Here's a piece of wood. Bite down. [00:23:40] Speaker A: Well, then we both probably would have died. So [00:23:43] Speaker B: fine. [00:23:43] Speaker A: Yeah, definitely. I've [00:23:44] Speaker B: been [00:23:45] Speaker A: fine. Definitely fine. [00:23:46] Speaker B: Probably pass out at some point and then be fine from the pain. [00:23:49] Speaker A: Right, right. Oh, my God. So, like, you know, it just. It just kind of sucked. Because then, like, I mean, I will say, like, he had great care and he. He got what he needed, and I'm very glad. But, like, you know, in the moment, you're like, well, can I hold my baby? Where did he go? Like, you know, just take him away. And you're like, well, I just got cut open and I don't get a baby. [00:24:09] Speaker B: We'll decide when you get to hold them, [00:24:11] Speaker A: and then we have to go back to the room. Okay, we're taking you to your room. We're going to do this. Everything is just so fast. It's happening so fast. And I'm so, like, dazed at this point. They put fentanyl in my IV and a couple other things. So at this point, I'm like, I don't know what's happening. [00:24:27] Speaker B: Yeah, at this point. [00:24:28] Speaker A: Yeah, I know. We get back to the room and then. And then I'm like, when can we see the baby? They're like, well, you have to wait till you're better first, so it'll be a few hours. And I'm just like, what the fuck? So we sat there while I. I, like, got better. Like, you know, like, we need the. Like the medicine to wear off. You need to be able to feel your legs and then, like, all these things. [00:24:52] Speaker B: Yeah, [00:24:53] Speaker A: yeah. So we had a lovely nurse who was like, she was really great, that stayed with us until I could feel my legs. She had to be there for X amount of time. And they had those weird things on. They had those weird things on my legs to keep the blood moving to [00:25:10] Speaker B: prevent deep vein thrombosis [00:25:13] Speaker A: that [00:25:14] Speaker B: dvts and [00:25:15] Speaker A: I couldn't feel blood clots. [00:25:16] Speaker B: That's how people have pulmonary emboli, like, the sudden death stuff. [00:25:20] Speaker A: Bad [00:25:20] Speaker B: news, [00:25:20] Speaker A: bad news. [00:25:21] Speaker B: It's the same thing that when people have, like, long distance travel and don't move. That's why they tell you to [00:25:26] Speaker A: move around a little bit. [00:25:27] Speaker B: Get. You can get blood clots from venous stasis in your legs. You're just, like, sitting, doing nothing. [00:25:34] Speaker A: Got it? [00:25:34] Speaker B: For prolonged periods. And if they're in the wrong veins, the deep veins, they [00:25:38] Speaker A: can [00:25:38] Speaker B: be big enough to dislodge, go to your heart, go to your lungs, and cut off blood supply, and you can die pretty quick. [00:25:44] Speaker A: So [00:25:44] Speaker B: the little leg, and you can't move your legs because you can't even feel them [00:25:47] Speaker A: right. [00:25:49] Speaker B: So. Yeah, they're like. They're just. They're just big wraps that, like, inflate and deflate. [00:25:54] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:54] Speaker B: To get your veins, the blood. Get the blood moving back. [00:25:58] Speaker A: Well, it was pretty funny because I didn't even know they were there [00:26:01] Speaker B: right now until [00:26:01] Speaker A: a couple hours later. [00:26:03] Speaker B: I could feel your [00:26:03] Speaker A: legs. [00:26:04] Speaker B: Something's squeezing my legs. [00:26:06] Speaker A: And because the left side was, like, aggressively [00:26:08] Speaker B: drugged, [00:26:09] Speaker A: I started feeling the right side where I was, like, something squeezing my legs. I didn't even know that was there. You start to realize that's funny. This has been there the whole time, and I had no idea. And then it's on the left side. And then I'm like, it must be on the other side, but I can't feel it yet. So it was weird having this feeling in one side and not the. Yeah, that was weird. And then meanwhile, everyone's, like, coming to see the baby and they can't. And they're. They're like, oh, well, here to support you, I guess. [00:26:38] Speaker B: Yeah, it's [00:26:41] Speaker A: all just leading to, like, the big Mallory meltdown where I'm just like, I can't wanna see my baby. And everyone's coming to see the baby, and now I feel like I'm letting them down because I'm just me. [00:26:50] Speaker B: You let us all down, Mallory, [00:26:56] Speaker A: and then [00:26:56] Speaker B: do better next time. [00:26:57] Speaker A: And then, I mean, I think it was. It was like a solid four hours before we could see him. [00:27:02] Speaker B: Yeah, that's about right. [00:27:03] Speaker A: He let us go and we got to go see him, but he was, like, in his little, like, you know, incubator, and we couldn't. We couldn't hold him yet. And I'm just like, oh, my God, I just want to hold my baby. It's not how I pictured this at all. [00:27:18] Speaker B: Did you raid the goddamn purple? [00:27:20] Speaker A: I just want to hold my baby. I feel like that's not that much to ask. He was inside me for Eight months. Eight and a half. Yeah. And then. And then it was like. It was like 12 hours before we could hold him. And we got to go up and hold him a little bit, like the first night. And that was nice. And then apparently they had to, like, they took the catheter out. I remember that. And had to make sure that I could pee multiple times in the same. Like, I think if you don't pee. She said, if you don't pee the next. Twice in the next six hours. Put [00:27:51] Speaker B: it back in. [00:27:52] Speaker A: We're gonna put it back in. And I was like, well, that just seems like a lot. Like, I could just not pee over six hours if I'm sleeping. Right. So I had. I drink at a smart water. You're like, you better drink that smart water. And I did. And then I peed, and it was fine. I had to, like, save it for her. It was [00:28:06] Speaker B: a scintillating conversation. [00:28:08] Speaker A: I'm reliving it all in my head, but I'm just saying [00:28:11] Speaker B: we are. We are losing followers. We're hemorrhaging followers. [00:28:16] Speaker A: What would you say, Michael? [00:28:21] Speaker B: Well, I'll just show the pictures of you getting cut open, to be honest. [00:28:23] Speaker A: All right, That'll fix it. [00:28:25] Speaker B: Yeah, I'd tune in for [00:28:27] Speaker A: that. Wow. And we again, it was. Overall, it was very, like, surprisingly, every nurse was lovely. Every doctor was lovely. Everyone was very attentive. They were on my medicine plans. And then they kind of told me when I was more cognizant, like, you can have this every. This amount of time. If you need it, just let us know. Here's our number. You can use this phone to call us. And, you know, that was. That was fun. And then, like, room service kept calling me to ask what I wanted to eat, which is. That's never happened. Right. I'm like, wow. They keep calling me before I get there every day. I got a wake up call. This is room service. Would you like breakfast? I would like breakfast. Thank you for calling me. So that. That whole party. [00:29:08] Speaker B: Breakfast too. [00:29:09] Speaker A: And I [00:29:10] Speaker B: got breakfast. [00:29:10] Speaker A: Yeah, you got all the meals, too. [00:29:12] Speaker B: And I did do most of the work. [00:29:14] Speaker A: Yeah, definitely. That's why you got the couch and I had the nice bed. [00:29:17] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. Who really suffered. Did [00:29:20] Speaker A: you see that [00:29:20] Speaker B: couch I had to sleep on? [00:29:21] Speaker A: Well, I had to sleep on one too, at the nicu, so. [00:29:24] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:29:26] Speaker A: But anyway, it was. It was a lot of ups and downs. And eventually they. They kept Tristan for two weeks. Two weeks? [00:29:34] Speaker B: Yeah, [00:29:35] Speaker A: about two weeks. [00:29:35] Speaker B: They came home on Halloween. [00:29:37] Speaker A: Yeah. So it was two weeks in a Day. [00:29:40] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:29:41] Speaker A: And that is also not the news you want to hear when you're leaving, that you can't leave with your baby. And again, I will preface this with they were wonder in the nicu, and they did such a fantastic job. And I understand that it was important. It needed to happen, but this is not what you want to hear when you're going in to have a baby. You know, I mean, like, you just expect to have that magical moment where you have the baby and you get to hold him and it's wonderful. Right? And then you're with him and you get to take him home, and we got none of that. It all accumulated to this very. I mean, those are difficult things. People don't talk. You're, like, [00:30:13] Speaker B: crying right now, making the podcast. I would like to point out she is crying right now. She [00:30:18] Speaker A: is [00:30:18] Speaker B: crying right now. Real tears. Real tears. [00:30:23] Speaker A: It's so hard. And then the doctor came in and said he was gonna keep him up there for weeks, was what he said. And I just like, yeah, [00:30:33] Speaker B: that was the. She kept. Had it in her head, like, it's probably just gonna be a day or two now. Well, [00:30:39] Speaker A: someone. Someone said that at one point. [00:30:41] Speaker B: Okay. But, [00:30:41] Speaker A: yeah, I [00:30:42] Speaker B: know you're banking on that day or two. All right, so it's gonna be a couple weeks. And that was just. Just like the. The soul drained out of you. [00:30:50] Speaker A: I know. And then he left the room, and I just like, are you okay? Fine. I'm gonna take it down. [00:30:58] Speaker B: Okay. I'm gonna go home to shower now. Use that call button if [00:31:10] Speaker A: you [00:31:10] Speaker B: need anything. [00:31:11] Speaker A: His six weeks of maternity leave, and I'm like, well, two of them just were going back to the name you [00:31:16] Speaker B: to [00:31:17] Speaker A: check on that baby and deliver him milk every day, because then you still have to pump. So it was like he was home with us because I was pumping every three hours to bring him milk. So we had it, which was great. I got to spend time with him up at the nicu, decorated his little room, and it was fine. He had all his [00:31:35] Speaker B: weird, wild things are monsters in his room. Yeah, [00:31:38] Speaker A: it was good. And then we got him on Halloween. He got to come home, which was really exciting. And then I found out he will actually. He eats every hour and a half because he's. He's a little. Took after me. [00:31:49] Speaker B: I [00:31:49] Speaker A: will [00:31:49] Speaker B: say he kind of ruined the Halloween costume for you [00:31:54] Speaker A: by coming early. No. So we. I was so excited because Autumn wanted to be Spider man, and then Mike was going to be Wolverine. I'm like, what superhero can I be pregnant And I was like, oh, my God. Fat Thor. [00:32:08] Speaker B: Yeah, [00:32:08] Speaker A: Fat Thor. I'm going to be Fat Thor. This is great. What a great pregnant costume. And then he came before Halloween, so I was like, well, now I just have to stuff it with the pillow, and it's just not the same. [00:32:20] Speaker B: You were like, weird. Lumpiness. I [00:32:22] Speaker A: was just. It was weird. I was like, well, this just sucks. Now I don't get to have my fun. He [00:32:26] Speaker B: looked like Fat Thor. Like, maybe, like two weeks into getting back in shape, where it's like, he doesn't look good, but you're like, I mean, something's happening. Yeah, there's [00:32:36] Speaker A: a little. Yeah, yeah. It was. It was. It was very unfortunate. So I didn't get my Halloween costume, but I did get a baby, so. [00:32:44] Speaker B: Well, better luck next time. [00:32:46] Speaker A: It was really wonderful to finally get him home, though. [00:32:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:49] Speaker A: After weeks of being like, I just need him to come home. Yeah. [00:32:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:56] Speaker A: I also, like, you know, I took off maternity leave, and I wanted to make sure that he was here for a huge chunk of that so we could get in a routine together. And it was just, you know, whatever plans we had were all just. Just thrown out the window. From the moment she said, you're going to have a baby tomorrow, there was. There was an emergency baby the next day. There was no holding the baby. There was no seeing the baby for several hours. [00:33:24] Speaker B: Yeah, [00:33:25] Speaker A: yeah. That was just up in the. You can see your baby in a little bit. This doesn't seem right. Can't you just, like, have us in beds next to each other? [00:33:35] Speaker B: This is not what me and my doula plan. [00:33:40] Speaker A: Yeah, but I mean, I think it's important to talk about the stuff that's difficult, too. I agree. Everyone goes in, like, it's just gonna be this wonderful, perfect experience. And I mean, like, it's not always. [00:33:54] Speaker B: Yeah, of course. Yeah, [00:33:55] Speaker A: I know. And [00:33:56] Speaker B: it's frequently not that way. [00:33:58] Speaker A: I know it's frequently not. And it's very difficult to have to leave the hospital without your baby. [00:34:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:03] Speaker A: Especially when you're like. I think I had just been telling you, like, I'm gonna feel so weird that I'm not pregnant anymore because I'm gonna feel, like, lonely. Because, like, he's. He's been inside me every day for, you know, eight and a half, nine months, and, like, I can, like, feel him all the time, and it's gonna be weird just being me again. And then you're like, that's fine. He'll just be with you, though. And then for two weeks, it was like, oh, no. I have to drive to the hospital three to four times a day to see him and bring him milk and make sure he's good. [00:34:41] Speaker B: Yeah, [00:34:42] Speaker A: yeah, yeah. And now he's here, and I can feel it. I feel it because I'm not sleeping. [00:34:48] Speaker B: I feel it now. [00:34:49] Speaker A: He actually eats every hour and a half. Yep. So I haven't slept in weeks. [00:34:58] Speaker B: Me either. [00:35:00] Speaker A: Yeah, it's [00:35:01] Speaker B: really been tough. [00:35:01] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, [00:35:03] Speaker B: yeah. You're so out of it. [00:35:07] Speaker A: I'm so tired. All right, well, that. That'll. That'll. That'll cap this. You guys, thanks for. Thanks for listening to our. We had to. We had to give you the full experience on what happened and why there was a baby a month early and how that went. But I will say I will again, as much as having everything not go according to plan and having those bumps and hiccups, it is. It was a really wonderful team of people that took great care of him. And when he came home, we knew he was good, he was healthy, and everything is great because they really made sure of that. So. [00:35:40] Speaker B: Yep, [00:35:41] Speaker A: yep. [00:35:42] Speaker B: Good stuff. [00:35:43] Speaker A: Good stuff. And he didn't wake up. This whole time, I was expecting to hear baby screams. I know he's right outside [00:35:49] Speaker B: the door. [00:35:51] Speaker A: I was like, he's gonna freak out anytime here. He didn't. So. Hey, there's that. [00:35:55] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:35:55] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, thank you guys so much for tuning in today. You kind of just sat here and stared at me the whole time. Where was your contribution? [00:36:01] Speaker B: I had a lot of funny one liners, I think a lot [00:36:04] Speaker A: of quips. Quips, [00:36:06] Speaker B: quips, [00:36:07] Speaker A: quips. I [00:36:08] Speaker B: feel like that's my usual contribution. [00:36:10] Speaker A: Yeah, quips. [00:36:12] Speaker B: Yeah, the witty sarcasm. [00:36:15] Speaker A: Right. [00:36:17] Speaker B: I'm the comedic relief. [00:36:19] Speaker A: You just [00:36:20] Speaker B: intense podcast [00:36:21] Speaker A: whipping some eggs while I was talking. [00:36:22] Speaker B: Right. Just whipping some eggs over [00:36:24] Speaker A: here. [00:36:25] Speaker B: Keep staring into your eyes. [00:36:27] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. [00:36:28] Speaker B: Defrauding my investors for hundreds of millions of dollars [00:36:33] Speaker A: and not understanding who's on first. [00:36:35] Speaker B: Right, [00:36:35] Speaker A: right. [00:36:36] Speaker B: Anyways, go see the documentary, [00:36:38] Speaker A: please. [00:36:39] Speaker B: He's starting to cry now. All right. [00:36:41] Speaker A: Thank you so much for tuning in, everybody. I'm your host, Mallory. And [00:36:44] Speaker B: I'm your host, Michael. [00:36:45] Speaker A: And I made a lot of [00:36:45] Speaker B: contributions. [00:36:46] Speaker A: Yeah, you did well. You had those pictures of me being cut open. That's [00:36:49] Speaker B: right. Yeah. [00:36:50] Speaker A: Email me. I'll [00:36:51] Speaker B: send them to [00:36:51] Speaker A: you. Until next time, everybody [00:36:54] Speaker B: stay weird. It.