Episode Transcript
[00:00:06] Speaker A: Hello, hello, hello, everyone. Welcome back to Mallory's Weird World Adventures, the podcast. I'm your host, Mallory, and I'm here to show you just how weird this world of ours really is. I'm very excited today to have Kali Tristan here with me. Thank you for joining, Kali.
[00:00:19] Speaker B: Oh, thank you so much for having me, Mallory.
[00:00:22] Speaker A: Of course. Me and Callie went all the way to high school together, back to ninth grade, and. And Callie played Sleeping Beauty in the YouTube series Damsels, Dice and Everything Nights, which I love, by the way, because I also play dandy.
[00:00:35] Speaker B: Oh, thank you. It was a really fun little project my friend Kaylee Bray came up with, and she just had this idea of what would it be like if a whole bunch of Disney princesses sat around and played Dungeons and Dragons for a day? And it was. It was really great. It was way too many princesses. There was like 17 of us, so you can imagine that would have been an actual nightmare if it wasn't script scripted. But it was great. It was fun.
[00:01:02] Speaker A: It's amazing. And do you. You lived in Los Angeles for a while. Did you know a lot of Disney adults?
[00:01:08] Speaker B: Disney adults? What do you mean?
[00:01:09] Speaker A: Like the adults that just spend all their time at Disneyland? Oh, of course.
[00:01:13] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. That's treaded on those rules of, like, dressing up, but not really dressing up and stuff. Yeah.
And, like, you can't pay your rent, but you have a season.
[00:01:28] Speaker A: You know, I was for the Disney season passes when they were 400 and something dollars because it broke down to like 50amonth. I'm like, well, I could do this. And if I go just once, like, it's already paid for it because the parking was included and you got discounts on food. And then when they wanted to open Galaxy's Edge in preparation, they, like doubled the price. And I was like, okay, I'm done with this now.
[00:01:50] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
Fortunately, I had a little inn and I had a friend who worked as a Disney prince, and so he got.
[00:01:57] Speaker A: Me in a couple of times.
[00:01:59] Speaker B: It was really nice. Shout out, Matt Malachi. Thank you.
[00:02:04] Speaker A: I feel like that's one of those things that would be so much fun until it wasn't. Like, maybe it's easier for the guys, but I've heard a lot of horror stories for the girls, like being princesses with the dads being creepy.
[00:02:14] Speaker B: Oh, I bet. Oh, my gosh. I bet. But how great would it be to, like, see a little kid's face light up going, oh, my gosh, it's Cinderella or whatever, you know, Definitely. Until they Start crying. Then you're like, okay, take it back, take it back.
[00:02:31] Speaker A: We did this, like, underground tour of the tunnels at Disney World because I was kind of a Disney adult, and I was all about, well, you have to go in the underground tunnels. And the guy told us before we went in, like, you're gonna see the princesses. You're gonna see characters. These are just people, and they're just gonna be on their break, and they don't want to talk to you, and you don't need to freak out when you see them. So just be normal.
And people just can't do it. I mean, like, several people in our.
[00:02:55] Speaker B: Group, like, oh, my God, Cinderella. Hi, Cinderella.
[00:02:57] Speaker A: You know, like, freaking out. And you're like, okay, well, do you remember the talk we had five minutes ago?
Cool, right?
And I. So I wanted to talk to you a little bit about your flight attendant history, too, because I'm sure you have some really fun stories.
[00:03:14] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. Yeah. So I became a flight attendant right after college.
Was a really great gig, despite the fact that it was customer facing.
Having to do the customer service part was a little tough, but, no, it was great. I mean, you can't get better than free flights for benefits. That's fantastic. But, yes, the stories I have, we're gonna need more than an hour.
Yeah. Okay. I can. I can try to condense this.
I had this one lady, and she had a baby in a carrier.
And now children under 2 are considered lap children. And so they don't buy a seat for them. They're supposed to just hold them on their lap and. But if it's not a full flight, I really don't care if the mom has her baby in the carrier next door. It's fine. You know? But this was a full flight. It was around the holidays, and so I was like, okay, hey, ma', am, I'm so sorry. It's going to be a full flight.
If you could put. Please put that carrier up in the overhead bin, that would be great. Thank you. And she didn't give me any pushback on it, so I was like, great, we understand each other. I carried on with my. My boarding duties, and I come back and I'm supposed to do a head count of how many people are on board. It's one of the last things we do before we push back. And I look at her and I go, I think she had a baby a minute ago.
[00:04:54] Speaker A: No.
[00:04:55] Speaker B: Where would that be? And I'm, like, looking around, I'm like, maybe she passed it to somebody else. Maybe it's under the seat because I have found them under the seat before.
And then I go, mar, where's your baby?
And she just points up and I. It took me a minute and I went, oh my gosh, she needs the overhead bed. So I opened the bin, which is closed by the way, and then there's just a baby in there just like giggling and laughing and oh my gosh. So like nobody saw me take or her put the baby up in the bin, but everybody saw me take it down. And yeah, she wrote me up so for embarrassing her and telling her to do it in the first place. And I had to go into a fact finding meeting with like my supervisor and a union representative and a base supervisor and it was just like, did you tell the lady to put her baby in the overhead?
No, I thought I just told her to put the carrier up there. I did not know I needed to say, please take your baby out first. So, yeah, that one goes down in the record book for me as one of the craziest because it's like you, you get used to people being angry at you and nowadays you're seeing everything on, on YouTube, like there's a fight on a plane every other day. I swear it's been, it's been crazy out there for travel. But yeah, you can prepare yourself for angry people that are like, oh, my flight is delayed and I have an important meeting. And like, we're all delayed, buddy. We get it. Right, I understand.
But you just can't prepare yourself for stupid. Like how, how was I supposed to know?
[00:06:44] Speaker A: I didn't realize I have to give you step by step instructions to take your child out of the carrier before securing it.
[00:06:52] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly.
Let me think. I do have one more, which is pretty nuts there. So I used to be in Vegas based flight of flight attendant. So yeah, the stories are even more intense when you're Vegas.
So yeah, that whole mantra of like, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, that's for the greater Las Vegas area, not the airspace above Vegas.
Just to make that clear for anybody trying to join the mile high club or anything. Like that doesn't count.
Yeah, so there was this like pretty, pretty empty flight and it was daylight out. I don't really remember what time it was, but it was definitely bright out.
And there was this older couple, probably in their about 50s, and they were looking really cozy, really, really close.
She's like basically sitting on his lap and yeah, I just had my eye on him. I knew something fishy was going on, so. And every time you like, walked by. They would kind of, you know, really quickly move or whatever. And so then later I'm just looking down the aisle from the back of the plane and I see a phone, like in selfie mode above the seat. But it's, it's recording and it's facing towards us in the back of the plane. So again, I'm used to people filming us trying to catch us doing something wrong or whatever. So I was going to go and tell him, you know, you don't have my permission to take me kind of thing. Like, what are you doing?
Well, I didn't realize that that was actually like his surveillance camera.
He and her were doing some questionable things under the, the safety information card, actually.
Oh, no, that was laid across his lap and then she was in his lap and I, Yeah, I get to the seat, I'm just like, oh, oh, okay, hang on. No, of course you have to like tell the pilots who then report it to the authorities who are waiting for him at the gate when we get there. And then I, as I'm exiting, I'm.
[00:09:21] Speaker A: Like, okay, this is the, the cops.
[00:09:23] Speaker B: Problem now, not mine.
I hear the woman crying and she's like, you can't, you can't arrest me. Us. If you do, his wife and my husband will find out.
[00:09:36] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, it gets worse.
[00:09:41] Speaker B: I know. It's like not just were they, you know, getting frisky on the plane and, and exposing themselves, but they were having an affair and it was a whole thing. And so, yeah, that was, that was my, my Chris Martin Coldplay moment.
Well, that's really funny.
[00:10:01] Speaker A: Good reference.
[00:10:01] Speaker B: I know I did was Chris Martin. And not in the.
[00:10:07] Speaker A: I mean, if you're gonna have an affair, which don't have an affair, but you're gonna have an affair, like why, why in public. Yeah.
[00:10:14] Speaker B: Wait till you get to the hotel room in Vegas.
Right.
[00:10:20] Speaker A: Oh my gosh.
[00:10:21] Speaker B: Yeah. So lovely, lovely job. The things we do for our free flight benefits. Right.
[00:10:28] Speaker A: I feel like that just couldn't. I, I would. It's something that in theory, I would love for the travel and all the experiences, but I feel like one.
I just, I just can't deal with people. I'm not a customer facing person. Yeah, I did a lot of that when I was a teenager and I don't need to do it again.
[00:10:50] Speaker B: Yeah, it's, it's a, it's a tough gig sometimes, you know, you're just, you, you meet all kinds, all kinds. And a lot of them were lovely, but the ones I remember are the ones that were a little. Little nuts.
True.
Those are the ones that'll make the memoir. Of course.
[00:11:11] Speaker A: It's also, you know, I waited tables in, I don't know, in high school and I remember being 16 and some guy being so mad at me just like fuming and like telling me off because, like, his order wasn't right. And it's like, you know, the way that people behave to like children. I'm like, I was a K. Yeah. It's like they're just different people in this customer service based settings. It's like they just lose the fact that, well, this is a, like a teenager and they're trying their best and.
[00:11:37] Speaker B: Yeah, well, it's also so much more tough because you're in a metal can in the sky with everybody else and like their tuna fish sandwich and then this guy like clipping their nail toenails on the tray table and like, just people are gross and you're just packed in like a sardine.
But after all of that, I mean, I still think that air travel is magical.
You know, we. We could have had to drive, but we get to fly there. And a hundred years ago we would have like all had to take a wagon or more, you know, Or a boat. Yeah, or a boat or so like, we're just so lucky that we can get there in a matter of hours to just watch Netflix and, and calm down. That's all.
[00:12:32] Speaker A: Netflix and calm down.
[00:12:35] Speaker B: Take a nap, read a book. Just. Just try not to focus on anybody else. And don't aim your ire at. At the flight attendants, please. They're doing their best.
[00:12:46] Speaker A: Were you a flight attendant during COVID I wasn't. I.
[00:12:52] Speaker B: Thank goodness I didn't have to do it during. Then my flight attendant coworker got her teeth knocked out during. Good.
Yeah, somebody didn't want to wear the mask. And I mean, it's not our rule. Like, it's not like we want to wear the mask. Right.
But yeah, it was, it was another woman actually that just, just knocked my friend's teeth out. Like three front teeth. It was awful. You know, we don't get paid enough for that.
[00:13:23] Speaker A: No. Gosh, I hope she like pressed charges.
[00:13:26] Speaker B: Yeah, I hope so too.
So I'm, I'm glad. It's like I, I loved the gig when I had it, but I am glad I stepped away from it when I did because it's gotten nuts out there now. So.
[00:13:40] Speaker A: Yes. And I'll say that as passenger side, I think I was flying during COVID more than I was pre covered and it was actually magical because there was nobody there. So the airport was. I mean, I remember being in the Delta Wing at LAX and I was the only person there. And I'm like, what is happening right now? This is great.
And, you know, the middle seats were blocked out.
And even still there, there were not that many people. And they boarded from back to front and everything about the whole process. I'm like, this is just so nice. And I got so used to it.
[00:14:18] Speaker B: And then afterwards, over. And they're like, ah, let's go back to just throwing them all in the hall.
Just steerage again.
[00:14:25] Speaker A: Yes. On the pendulum swing. Like it. No one was traveling. And then we filmed a movie and. Oh, no, I just lost my power. It's okay. The computer's still on. You can still hear me, right? Oh, yeah. We have a generator. In the dark.
We have a generator. So it'll back on. It'll come back on in just a second. There's a huge storm here right now, which makes it for the blooper rail.
I know.
Well, during. I'm just gonna keep going again. Oh, there it is.
[00:14:54] Speaker B: We're back.
[00:14:54] Speaker A: And the generator came on. My monitor is rebooting here.
See? Okay, there we go up. And there it goes.
This is great.
During. It was. I think it was May 2021, we filmed a movie in Indiana.
And they. The airport was horrifying. It was like sardines. People were just packed in, like, the same Delta wing. We're all packed in. We can't move through each other. I went to try to go to the Delta Lounge, and there was a line to get in. And I'm like, what is happening? And I had talked to one of the people at the Delta Lounge, and the woman's like, well, you know, it's the pendulum. No one was traveling. And now everyone's traveling, freaking out that they weren't traveling. So it just shot really hard the other way.
And now it's chaos. And it was for a while. And I remember being like, oh, gosh, this is terrifying.
[00:15:49] Speaker B: Yeah, well, I mean, same thing with the airlines themselves. They. They, like, laid a whole bunch of people off. Or gave leave, in my case. They gave leave to me. And it was just then they realized, oh, wait, life is going to come back from this.
We need all of you back. And a lot of people were like, I'm good now. I haven't been flying for a while. I don't need to fly.
[00:16:13] Speaker A: I found something else.
[00:16:14] Speaker B: I. I work from home now, right?
[00:16:17] Speaker A: Yeah. The world will never go back I. I don't think I would ever accept a job where I would have to go into an office permanently again. It's just too much.
[00:16:27] Speaker B: Well, I'll become ready player one soon anyway. It's fine.
[00:16:30] Speaker A: Exactly. It's just an extra expense. Like, from the. From the employee side, it's better. The business side, it's better too.
[00:16:37] Speaker B: Yeah. Less traffic on the road.
[00:16:39] Speaker A: Right.
[00:16:39] Speaker B: So it's more green. Yeah, yeah.
Just life overall.
But, yeah, I mean, it was. It was a good. It was a really good gig while it lasted. I have a lot of fun stories, and, I mean, I got to travel the world for free or like, next to nothing. I got. I just got to basically go overseas just paying the taxes.
So I have all kinds of adventures that I can tell you about from. From over there.
[00:17:11] Speaker A: I'd love to hear about maybe your favorite place you've been to, but with like a mythological backing to it, like. Or like a cool folklore story even. Even, like fiction, like, you know, like New Zealand's Lord of the Rings. You know, like something. Something kind of from that realm that you got.
[00:17:30] Speaker B: Okay, well, so my favorite place probably in all the world so far that I've been to is Edinburgh, Scotland. It's just magical. I mean, There's a reason J.K. rowling was inspired to write Harry Potter there. It just. You look like you're in a snow globe. Like, it's just the most beautiful gothic architecture and beautiful little town.
And I've.
Whenever I go anywhere to a new city, the first thing I do is try to find a walking tour.
I. I just love them. A lot of the times they're free, and all you have to do is just tip the.
The travel guide, and they're just the best way to, like, acquaint yourself with a city.
And so I've done the walking tour in Edinburgh twice. It's amazing. Definitely do it. New Sandeman's walking tour. It's great.
And we got to Grass Market, which is this fun kind of plaza really close to the castle.
And of course that. That plaza is known for a lot of public executions, especially, like witch trials and stuff that went on in the 1700s there.
And so there was this story that was this woman made named Maggie Dixon, and she actually had a. An illegitimate child.
And the baby actually came prematurely, and so it was very sad. She, you know, was shunned from society for just having an illegitimate child. Then her baby is born and is stillborn, but they accused her of being a witch, of course, because it's the 1700s.
[00:19:37] Speaker A: And right.
[00:19:39] Speaker B: They do to women. You're a witch.
So. So she didn't harm the child. It just was born dead, unfortunately. And so they hanged her.
And.
Very tragic. And then, of course, like, there were scientists trying to fight over the body with the. The family trying to fight over the body. The family won. And as they're walking with the coffin to the graveyard to put her in the coffin lid, move.
And miraculously, she survived her hanging.
[00:20:17] Speaker A: My God.
[00:20:18] Speaker B: Yeah. And so she just kind of like pops up and it's like, just kidding, I'm not dead.
But because they already carried out her execution, she couldn't be tried again as a witch. She had immunity and the audacity. She opens up her own pub in Grass market to basically give a big middle finger. Everybody being like, hey, hey, you can't touch me now. I'm already dead. So I. She lived, I think, another 40 years.
And I think she was called, like, half Hanged Maggie, which is a funny little nickname.
[00:20:58] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:20:59] Speaker B: So I. I guess that's kind of some folklore for you.
[00:21:03] Speaker A: I love that. It's like the. The Saved by the Bell, where, you know, they. People would not actually be dead when they were put in the ground and they'd have the bell. Yeah. She didn't have to do that, but that's what I think. Yeah.
[00:21:13] Speaker B: And the Irish wake, the whole idea of the wake is to kiss them on the forehead every hour to check to see if they're cold yet.
Right. Yeah. But sometimes, you know, sometimes someone just had a little bit too much moonshine and can kind of half kill themselves for a minute and then comes back to life.
Right.
[00:21:36] Speaker A: Now, speaking of. Because I have. We're. We're promoting the second season of Weird World Adventures, which will be on prime in the fall.
And we're. We're moving, like, forward, like episode by episode. And I wanted to talk to you a little bit about funny enough voodoo, because this just tied in perfectly to it. Actually, it's total happy accident. I don't know if I told you about this. My. One of my mentors into the Explorers Club, he broke up this zombie drug ring in Haiti. Did I tell you about this?
Oh, okay.
[00:22:07] Speaker B: It reminds me of this zombie drug ring.
[00:22:10] Speaker A: It's like this whole Sherlock Holmes adventures. And it's real. It's. It's insane. So he was a bot, an ethnobotanist from Harvard. So he studied plants and there were. So the voodoo culture is just wild. And Haitian voodoo and New Orleans voodoo are very different from each other. And in Haiti, there's It's very like, almost like gang oriented where like voodoo practitioners, voodoo doctors are kind of running the show.
And they were putting together a poison to give to people they deemed, like, useless in society that would make you appear like you're dead, but you're not actually dead. Like Romeo and Juliet. It's slow your metabolism so much that you would appear dead. And so they would pronounce someone dead because they'd get this poison, they'd have a funeral and then they'd come dig them up the next day and they'd still be alive. And they'd say, I'm your voodoo master. You're now a zombie. You're going to work for me on my plantation. And because it would like, kill the part of their brain that would kind of make them more subservient. So they would do it. I know. So this whole. This is really happening like this? Actually.
Yeah.
[00:23:14] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:23:15] Speaker A: And he, like, went to Haiti to figure out what was in the poison and. And he can't go back. Like, he pissed off a lot of people and some bad stuff.
But, you know, I mean, because it's like, it became very political that, like, oh, this is like people in power that are doing this to control people.
So it became very political. But it was the poison from the puffer fish.
[00:23:37] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. That was. And it kills a part of your brain that makes you subservient.
[00:23:43] Speaker A: Yeah, like, or the part that makes you, like, resistant, I guess. So you become subservient.
[00:23:47] Speaker B: Right?
[00:23:48] Speaker A: Subservient.
And yeah, it's like this, like, it's just wild to think that that really happened. And.
[00:23:55] Speaker B: And I mean, I guess if somebody does like, awaken you from the dead, you are going to think like, this is my guardian angel. So you have some sort of like, like, oh, like a debt to O. To this person who saved you.
[00:24:13] Speaker A: I guess I am a zombie now.
[00:24:16] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:24:18] Speaker A: So. So that, I mean, that's just a whole nother can of worms. But for season two of the show, we went to New Orleans to focus on New Orleans voodoo, which is fascinating because it's not anything like you would expect. Like, I didn't know much about it going in and I learned quite a lot where it's actually pretty much mirrored with Catholicism because they brought in West African slaves that practice voodoo in West Africa and they didn't want to tell them not to practice their own religions because they were afraid of a revolt which happened in Haiti. So they let them practice, but kind of pushed Christian ideals on Them. So the two religions kind of morphed together and became, like, voodoo Catholicism. And a lot of they all have, like, one God for both religions. And with voodoo, there's loa, which are, like, spirits that, like, they believe God doesn't intervene in the world, but spirits kind of help, like, relay your messages to the other side. And they call the powerful ones loa. And each loa has a mirror to a Catholic saint, which is really interesting.
[00:25:27] Speaker B: Interesting. Yeah.
[00:25:28] Speaker A: It's a weird place. You go there and you're like, there's a lot of, like, huge Christianity and symbols and then, like, hardcore voodoo. And a lot of the voodoo that we think of is just put in for, like, tourists because they want you to come in, you know, like, oh, I bought this voodoo doll. I bought this, and oh, my gosh, voodoo. And it, like, brings people in, but it's not exactly like, how voodoo is practiced, which is interesting.
[00:25:54] Speaker B: Yeah, that's very interesting.
[00:25:57] Speaker A: And we.
We found out, which I thought was interesting too. Like, the voodoo doll, as we think that it would be, is not actually.
They're an actual, like, what the intention for it is not what you think it would be. So they were an early form of, like, patient charts. A lot of people would go to, like, voodoo doctors as, like, holistic healers. And they'd want to know, okay, well, you know, I have a headache, and there's no way to digitally record it. So, okay, I'll create this doll for you, and I'll put pins in your head because it shows that you have a headache and how severe is the pain. Okay, I'll put three pins because it's pretty bad. And.
[00:26:29] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, we still kind of do that on intake forms. When you have, like, the body and you have to X where your. Your pain is coming from. That's really interesting.
[00:26:39] Speaker A: And then, you know, people see it from the outside. Oh, my God, it's evil. They're cursing you. And. And it just develops and into something that it's now known for, which it isn't at all. So it's like an outdated practice that now is just, like, sold to tourists to be like, oh, look, a voodoo doll.
[00:26:54] Speaker B: And the amount of movies and shows and stuff that we see with that completely wrong idea of. Yeah. Stabbing the voodoo doll and then the person on the outside is, like, grabbing their stomach.
Yeah.
That's so funny that that has, like, no basis in fact at all. Completely wrong.
[00:27:14] Speaker A: Really Interesting. Have you ever been to New Orleans?
[00:27:17] Speaker B: I have. I mean, I. I just went on an overnight and had some Gumbo, listened to some great jazz and. And watched the drunk people walk around.
[00:27:27] Speaker A: But I haven't gotten to delve in.
[00:27:29] Speaker B: Like you did with the culture that was.
[00:27:31] Speaker A: That's really cool. Did you get to go down Bourbon Street?
[00:27:34] Speaker B: Of course. Yeah. I mean, you have to see the mayhem once, Right?
[00:27:39] Speaker A: Right, exactly.
[00:27:40] Speaker B: From the balcony. Balcony. That's the best way to see it. Just. Just pitch up in a balcony somewhere and watch all the craziness going on.
[00:27:47] Speaker A: Oh, definitely.
[00:27:49] Speaker B: I think I saw somebody get a DUI on a scooter.
I didn't know you could get it. It wasn't even a motorized scooter.
[00:27:58] Speaker A: I didn't know you could do that.
Oh, my gosh. Yeah, we. We had a little fun on Bourbon Street. And I remember there was. There was a girl that was trying to, like, sell us something or give us flyers, and I. I was. I had, like, a drink or something. It was. It wasn't like I was drunk, but I was enough to be like, well, I'm just gonna ignore this person and keep walking.
[00:28:16] Speaker B: Right?
[00:28:16] Speaker A: Like, just courtesy's out the window. I don't see you. It's fine.
And she was, like, offended that I didn't, you know, like, oh, no, thank you. Or respond to her. So she grabbed my ass, and I was like, oh, okay, I'll get your attention. And I'm like, oh, my goodness. Well, that just happened.
[00:28:35] Speaker B: What did you. How did you respond to that?
[00:28:37] Speaker A: I think I just looked really, like, offended and surprised and just kept walking. I still didn't say anything.
[00:28:45] Speaker B: You're so nice.
[00:28:47] Speaker A: Oh, my goodness.
[00:28:49] Speaker B: You're like, that possibly couldn't have happened.
[00:28:51] Speaker A: Right? Right. And then by the time you realize, well, that definitely happened. You're pretty far away.
[00:28:57] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:28:59] Speaker A: Wow. Yeah, that was good. And there's this blacksmith bar called Lafitte's that's on Bourbon street, like, kind of near the end of it.
And it was our favorite place. And then I got really angry at one of the. One of the people there the last night and was like, well, screw this place.
[00:29:17] Speaker B: Well, you mean, like, it was like, an old smithy once upon a time.
That's kind of cool.
[00:29:22] Speaker A: I think it's the oldest bar in the world. It's definitely the oldest bar. I'm sorry. Not the world. The New World. Okay?
The New World in that area, at least. And it's definitely the oldest bar in New Orleans.
And it's made out of, like, stone. Like, that kind of.
And stone and brick, kind of weird setup. And it had such a cool aesthetic, and they had this fire and it was packed all the time, and I liked going in and just, like, hanging out by the fire, but there were always people there. And then I was so angry because the one night we finally get to sit by the fire and I'm so happy and I, like, move. I scooted my chair back, which is like, at the fireplace, but I. It's like there's a foot behind me. I just, like, scooted it back to take a picture. And then the bartender, like, came over and yelled at me for being in his way because I moved my chair back a foot, which there were many other ways around me. And there were, like, people, like, sardined in there all the time. So I was like, you're just picking on me right now because I'm small.
[00:30:20] Speaker B: I totally sympathize with that.
Right?
[00:30:24] Speaker A: I'm like, you just think I'm an easy target here because you could have bombed this way or this way. The whole bar is open. You just came over here to me just to be an.
Yes.
[00:30:33] Speaker B: Yes. Do you feel like that whenever you're in a crowd, that there. There will be people that are constantly pushing past you because they're looking at the top of people's heads, and then they're. They're like, oh, here's an opening. And then they get to the opening, which is you.
[00:30:49] Speaker A: You're.
[00:30:50] Speaker B: You're the opening. And then they just. Ah, well, I'm gonna push past this. I just feel like that's my whole. The story of my whole life. I can't. I can't go dancing. I get stepped on, Drake splashed on me. And I am always.
No matter how far away from the bathroom I am. I am the path to the bathroom. And people push past me all the time.
[00:31:11] Speaker A: It's because we look so nice.
[00:31:13] Speaker B: We look nice too. We look like we won't fight back, which you, case in point, didn't when that girl grabbed your ass.
[00:31:19] Speaker A: I have to step up.
[00:31:21] Speaker B: I know, right? I need to be feist.
And.
[00:31:26] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I. I'm always the per. I mean, I can't even explain how many times I was in la, just on the street, and people just plow you down. Like, I got knocked into. Bummed like, no, sorry, he's just full. Ran over repeatedly all the time. Because I'm just little. I'm like, well, screw you.
And I remember. I remember getting super aggressive in Vegas. One time we were. We were hosting an event for Ben Schwarmer at one of the clubs. And, like, we were kind of just on stage, like, Hosting. But I had to go to the bathroom, and I remember going down and trying to walk to the bathroom, and this guy, like, came. He wanted to get by me, and he grabbed my hips and, like, kind of moved me out of his way. I almost punched him. Because I'm like, yeah, touch me. Like, no.
[00:32:13] Speaker B: Okay. I'm getting to where I'm like, I hate people. Again. I need happier things.
[00:32:17] Speaker A: Happier things.
[00:32:19] Speaker B: I'm having so many flashbacks. Like life in the customer service world where people.
[00:32:24] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:32:25] Speaker B: People are kind of awful sometimes.
[00:32:27] Speaker A: Yeah. But that's why I can't be there.
[00:32:30] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:32:31] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. But, yeah, we. New Orleans is lovely, though, despite. Despite my anger at a bartender.
[00:32:39] Speaker B: Yeah. And the. The lady that just grabbed your ass out of nowhere.
[00:32:43] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. Aside from that, it was lovely.
And we. We wound up. It was so cool because we went searching for the gates to hell because apparently in voodoo folklore, the gates to guinea, which is their underworld, are in New Orleans.
And it's weird how. How much is kind of talked about it and how much is not known about it because people associate seven loa that kind of initiate your journey into hell. So there's like, seven spirits you have to meet with in a specific order to get to the final one, which is Baron Semite. So he's the guy in the top hat, like the skeleton, the top hat you see? And all the voodoo stuff. That's him. He's like their God of death.
[00:33:23] Speaker B: And you have to go, who's his parallel when it comes to the saints?
[00:33:28] Speaker A: You know, I'm not sure, because he represents death. Let's see. I can tell you.
[00:33:36] Speaker B: I'm gonna do stump, too. And, you know, everything. I can't believe I know. I asked a question. You don't know.
[00:33:45] Speaker A: I guess it's just because I'm not. I don't know that much about Catholicism. He doesn't have one. That's why.
[00:33:50] Speaker B: Oh, okay.
[00:33:51] Speaker A: Because he's specifically the God of death.
Okay.
So there's no.
[00:33:56] Speaker B: He's like the Grim Reaper, kind of.
[00:33:57] Speaker A: Yeah, the Grim Reaper figure.
[00:33:59] Speaker B: Gotcha.
[00:33:59] Speaker A: Yes. Yes.
And he. He's, like, supposed to be waiting at the end. And so a bunch of people have, you know, talked about and known about, like, that specific part of it. But then no one knows exactly where the gates are. So we have this really fun time kind of finding the clues and seeing what people said about it and then laying out Baron Semite's sigil on a map of New Orleans and mapping out. Because there's seven stars on the sigil. Oh, these stars can be the. And kind of like putting together a point to get there. So it was really wild and no one's ever done anything like it before. And I had a lot of fun doing that.
[00:34:38] Speaker B: Is it kind of like Tartarus, where there's, like, a cave that you just go into to get to hell or Hades?
[00:34:47] Speaker A: It's supposed to be like a portal, like a. Like a magical.
[00:34:50] Speaker B: That could just open up from nowhere.
[00:34:54] Speaker A: Right.
[00:34:54] Speaker B: So there's no, like, door or, like, actual gates or anything like that?
[00:35:00] Speaker A: No.
[00:35:01] Speaker B: Like one of those mausoleums and the infamous graveyards and stuff there. That's not a gate to hell?
[00:35:07] Speaker A: No. Well, so. So what we had kind of theorized when we put it together was that that final gate was at Marie Laveau's tomb because she was like, the mother of voodoo. And her. Her tomb kind of fit right in place where with his, like, final star is on his sigil. So, like. Well, we have to go with that.
[00:35:26] Speaker B: So that's.
[00:35:28] Speaker A: That's kind of fun. That is, like, a really cool treasure hunt.
It was. It was great. And what would you have done if.
[00:35:35] Speaker B: You had actually found the gate to hell, though?
Shut it.
[00:35:39] Speaker A: I feel like I would have been very excited. There was some. There was like, some. We got a surprise at the end. It wasn't. I won't say we found hell, but I'll tell you about it later.
Secret. Yeah. Have to watch.
Yes.
But Nicholas Cage is also. He bought a tomb in that cemetery.
So it's like the old.
[00:36:03] Speaker B: Right.
[00:36:04] Speaker A: And there's two.
He has two plots that he built a pyramid on, like, full Da Vinci Code style.
Wow. Okay. And he had to buy them from families that already had tombs there.
Oh.
[00:36:20] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:36:21] Speaker A: The whole thing.
He has been everywhere. Like, we've been right before us, because he's just such a strange guy.
Like, we went to Dracula's castle and the guy told us, oh, well, Nicholas Cage stayed here not too long ago, I guess, preparing to play Dracula in Renfield. And he's like. He, like, stayed the night and rented the space for the night.
[00:36:44] Speaker B: Funny. One day you'll catch up to him and you're like, we have been everywhere. You've been somehow just, like, day late.
Funny.
[00:36:52] Speaker A: And he also bought the Delphine Lalori house. She was the.
The slave owner that tortured her slaves. If you ever watched American Horror Story, Kathy Bates played her.
And she was, like, so horrible and just grotesque and awful that she was chased out of New Orleans by people for torturing her slaves.
So it was bad.
[00:37:16] Speaker B: Why would you want to own a house like that, right?
[00:37:20] Speaker A: Because he's weird.
I mean, in. The house is still there and he. He has since sold it, but he bought it for a while.
Okay. Yeah, good for him, I guess.
[00:37:34] Speaker B: I think I would have invested in.
[00:37:36] Speaker A: Some other properties, but sure, yeah, it was. It was interesting. But he's. He's been everywhere, I guess. I have to ask you, what's the weirdest place you've been to?
[00:37:49] Speaker B: Weirdest?
Well, I mean, I guess again, in Scotland, I did. I did get a chance to go into the catacombs that had just opened when I went, and. And that was pretty creepy, I'll admit, because it. It wasn't quite as touristy as the.
The catacombs of Paris and not as big either, but they're. They're still excavating them and I think there's probably a passage that goes all the way from Hollywood House to the castle itself down the Royal Mile. But the. The rooms that we went into were like the homes to jiffy seas, and.
And they were in hiding down there for a very, very long time. It was just a very, very dark, weird energy that I could feel when I was down there. And I mean, it also doesn't help that it's like damp and dark and cold.
There's probably drafts coming in to make it even more eerie. But I mean, a lot of people were when they found the gypsies in there, they were burned alive. And it's really. Yeah, it's just. I'm even getting goosebumps right now thinking about it. So I. Yeah, I don't normally love doing the scary kind of stuff. I seem to take that stuff home with me, and I would be the kind of person who would, you know, doubt the existence of some creepy doll. And then the creepy doll haunts me for the rest of my life. So I'm just. I don't even want to go near it. I don't want to touch it. I'm good.
Right?
[00:39:33] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. I don't like those.
[00:39:34] Speaker B: You're braver than I am. You. You're like, yeah, let me find the weird haunt me. I dare you.
[00:39:41] Speaker A: Have you been to the catacombs in Paris?
[00:39:44] Speaker B: Haven't. No, I've been to Paris, but again, that isn't usually something I seek.
[00:39:51] Speaker A: I don't normally love to be scared.
Have you did. What did you see when you were in Paris?
[00:39:58] Speaker B: So I became a flight attendant, was 23, and at that time, none of my friends could afford to go to Europe.
So I was just.
Have These amazing flight benefits and no one to go with and really sad. And then one day, our mutual friend Jordan wanted to go to Europe. He was in between jobs and he was like, I'm gonna go for a month. I've been planning this trip for my whole life. I'm so excited. Would you join me for a week? And I was like, absolutely, yes. And it was, it was like a week away. I had no time to prepare for this. I, I switched my shifts around. That was about as much preparing as I did. I did some shopping, you know, that kind of thing.
Got a cute little hiker backpack. But he, he in his mind thought that, that backpacking across Europe would be like backpacking through the Appalachian. I think because he packed a hammock and a life straw we would be doing throughout Europe. And that is absolutely not what I signed up for. So I met him in Paris and he didn't know where we were going to be staying, so we had to find out how, where we were going to be staying that night. We ended up staying the night in some, on some guy's floor apartment, like on a mattress while he slept up in the loft part. It was super creepy.
Moral of the story, don't ever let somebody else plan the trip for you. Don't just go along, ask questions. You need to know where you're staying, how you're getting there, and the itinerary. He just said, I'm. I want to do seven cities in seven days. And that sounds like so much fun on paper.
[00:42:07] Speaker A: Yeah, you have to be. Half the time is just getting there.
[00:42:10] Speaker B: No, I mean, we had a good time, but it was like doing the Amazing Race. Like we, we went to a city, like had to go to a coffee shop, find WI fi so that we could find a place to sleep for the night. Which again, like last minute places, not going to be the most fun.
So yeah, seven cities in seven days was really nuts. We just had to find the WI fi in a coffee shop and find a place to stay, which was never all that great. And then find how we were getting from point A to point B the next day, which now there's like apps for that. There's Rome to Rio, which is amazing.
I love that like you put in where you are starting where you're going and it gives you every kind of way that you could possibly take to get there. And then like even walking directions. I absolutely could have used that on this trip, but it wasn't. So we were just always trying to figure out how to get there long Story short, I had maybe a day tops in Paris. And so we just like ran all over the city, took a picture from the outside and ran to the next place, ate some good food.
I, I saw the sites, I have the photos, but it was, it really was like the Amazing Race.
[00:43:41] Speaker A: Terrifying.
[00:43:42] Speaker B: It was, the most terrifying was. So let me see, we went from Paris to Venice to San Marino, which is gorgeous. It's this tiny little country nobody knows about within Italy.
And that's, that was really fun. Then we went to Rome and then he goes, okay, I think I've had enough of the cities for a little while. Let's take a break and go to the coast. We'll have, we'll have like a nice little beach day at a bnb. It'll be great. And this time he had actually found the BNB and how to get there. And I was like, I'm on board. Like, let's do it. Let's have a nice down tempo day compared to all the rest of our days.
Well, we get off on this bus and this bus drops us off in the middle of nowhere, Tuscany. Like I didn't, I didn't even realize there was a bus stop there. And so we get off expecting there to be a town so we could take a cab to the place. Nothing, no cars coming by, not another bus for like four or five hours.
So we just start walking in a general direction. We're like, well it's west, so let's just follow the sun again. I'm following a boy. This is bad idea.
[00:45:14] Speaker A: From the never follow.
[00:45:18] Speaker B: I have a backpack that is. I look like a turtle. I have every bit of my clothing with me. I was so stupid in my 20s. I brought like three or four pairs of high heels that I never wore.
So, so much clothing, it was ridiculous. I never wore, but I mean I'm like 108 pounds. This thing was at least 50. So I'm just, just struggling. It's August, we don't have water and we have no phone and no cell reception. If even if we did to figure out how to navigate to this bnb, we are walking for hours in a sort of general direction. I'm being eaten alive by mosquitoes and like my legs. I apparently was very allergic to these mosquitoes. They ballooned up like bee stings. Then we're trampling through mud and briars and I'm, they're getting scratched to hell and now getting infected and I am mad.
Like the whole trip came to a head at that moment and I was, I Was dehydrated and angry. And I just started yelling at him and he started yelling back like, well, you could have helped plan some of this. You didn't plan any of it.
So he. He's like, I'm gonna go and see what's beyond this hill. And I'm like, okay, you do that. I'm gonna sit right here. And I sat in the middle of a vineyard, and you think vineyards, like, oh, well, there would be a winery nearby. No, just great grapes as far as you can see.
So I'm sitting there eating grapes because they're water and food. And I'm. I'm pretty sad and pissed off and. And Jordan's gone. And now I'm worried I've lost Jordan and I won't ever find him again. And then these two little boys ride by on bicycles and I'm going, oh, my gosh, people. Like, I haven't seen people in hours. But as I'm thinking, well, I don't want to scare them because I'm being too nice.
[00:47:38] Speaker A: They.
[00:47:38] Speaker B: They leave. They're gone. I. I missed my shot at being saved.
And they're. They're gone. And I just start crying because I'm like, this is it. I'm going to die in the middle of Tuscany. My mom will never know where I am and Jordan will never find me again. They'll find my body when they harvest the grapes.
And.
And then the little boys all of a sudden circle back and they come up to me and they don't speak very much English. I don't speak any Italian. And they go, lady sad cry.
[00:48:17] Speaker A: And I, yeah.
[00:48:19] Speaker B: And he goes, help. And I like, yes, please. Oh, my gosh.
So these. And then fortunately, at that time, Jordan does find me again. We cut. We're reunited. He. These two adorable little eight year old boys walk us about two miles.
[00:48:38] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[00:48:38] Speaker B: To the nearest bnb, which was not the BNB that we were trying to get to, but we were just like, oh, my gosh. Civilization. Thank you.
And Jordan still wants to find the beach.
[00:48:52] Speaker A: He's on a mission.
[00:48:53] Speaker B: He was on a mission.
[00:48:54] Speaker A: He was like, we need to go.
[00:48:55] Speaker B: Through everything we went through today, but not find the beach. And I was like, you can go.
I need time away from you.
Shower and a drink and some food and I'll be fine. Just go. So he, like, I guess he rented a bike from the owner of this adorable little dnb and he's gone. And now I've taken a shower. I feel like a human again. I feel bad for yelling At Jordan.
He deserved it, but I felt bad.
So I go down to the little restaurant, and I'm having some dinner, and then the owner and the bus boy comes out, and apparently the busboy was the only one that spoke any English.
And he comes out looking really nervous, and they go, lady, your husband.
Bike.
[00:49:55] Speaker A: Kaboom.
[00:50:01] Speaker B: What do you mean, kaboom? And of course, they can't explain more. And I don't understand.
I'm just. Now the owner is taking me to, I guess the scene of the crime, and I'm really upset. I'm like. The last words they say spoke to him. We're awful. I'm gonna have to tell his mom and his girlfriend that he's dead. Somewhere in Tuscany.
And anyway, we finally drive up, and he wouldn't, you know it, he freaking found the beach. He found the beach.
His bike was torn to shreds. He, like, hit a pothole, flew over the handlebars. He. He was a bit bruised up. He apparently flew into traffic. That was pretty cool. Yeah. So he did go kaboom. But he was alive, and I was so happy to see him. And of course, like, I squashed everything with him. I was like, oh, my God, you're alive. This is great.
So, yeah, always have a plan, ladies and gentlemen. Always have a plan. Don't let somebody else plan it for you.
But that was such an exciting experience. You know, I. I survived it. I did have to go on steroids and diuretics afterwards for the swelling in my legs that happened. But I'm fine. I survived. And I have great stories now.
[00:51:21] Speaker A: That's a real adventure. You know, when you're. When you're just stuck and you have no idea what you're going to do, those are the moments you remember. Yeah.
[00:51:27] Speaker B: You're like, I. I survived that. We're all okay.
[00:51:32] Speaker A: That would have been a great episode of a sitcom. Like, I. You're saying it. I'm like, I can see this playing out on television.
[00:51:39] Speaker B: Yeah. I see Jordan now on Facebook going on all these adventures, and I'm like, good for him. I will never do that again with you.
I'm so happy that he's still traveling and he's still alive and, you know, because he makes questionable decisions, but he is a great guy.
[00:51:58] Speaker A: On that note.
Oh, that was so good. Thank you so much for talking with me today.
[00:52:06] Speaker B: Oh, and also, moral of the story is to, at some point in your life, travel by yourself. That was also the.
For me, like, deciding, okay, I've been through a lot. I. I know how to get myself out of a sticky situation.
And. And so I don't need anybody else to travel to Europe with. I can do it on my own. And it is so empowering. So if. If you ever get the chance to go by yourself, please, because it's. It's amazing. You get to meet all kinds of people, branch out of your comfort zone. It's wonderful.
[00:52:43] Speaker A: Solo travel seems very intimidating.
[00:52:45] Speaker B: I agree.
[00:52:45] Speaker A: But it can be so liberating and magical when you get to realize that, oh, I can do this.
[00:52:51] Speaker B: Yeah. Especially as a woman. Like, you know, we wouldn't have been able to do that 100 years ago.
[00:52:57] Speaker A: No.
[00:52:58] Speaker B: Ever travel on our own. So, I mean, as long as you're doing it safe, you're. You're going to someplace that you can maybe fit in. Like, you don't look quite like a tourist. And. And you can stay in a hostel. I know hostels get a bad rep, but it's great. Like, you can get a private room in a hostel for, like, 50 bucks.
They. They have, like, a communal area, like a bar or restaurant or like a pool hall kind of thing that you can meet people. And I. I mean, I did. I went to Dublin and I met somebody from South Africa, a guy from Cornwall, a girl from Germany, and then we all, like, hung out and went the next day on a hike to see some lighthouses and host and I mean, it's. It's an experience.
Travel on your own if you can. And I now, like, I have all these one wonderful friends in this city that I probably wouldn't have met if I had gone with somebody. So you're like, you have to try to make friends and.
And, yeah, it's a good time.
[00:54:08] Speaker A: Yeah. Amen.
Yes.
Do you have any social media you like to give people or.
[00:54:16] Speaker B: Sure.
I'm on Instagram at Cali Tristan, and.
[00:54:22] Speaker A: Yeah, that's kind of it.
[00:54:24] Speaker B: I'm not Instagram.
Kind of private, you know.
[00:54:28] Speaker A: Awesome. Well, thank you so much for joining me today.
[00:54:31] Speaker B: Thanks for having me, Mallory, and good luck on all your weird world adventures.
[00:54:36] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:54:37] Speaker B: Can't wait for season two.
[00:54:39] Speaker A: Yay. So soon. I'm in the grind editing it now. Very soon.
Awesome. Until next time, everybody stay weird.
